juiced2damax
Trusted Member
I talked to him this morning on myspace and trying to get him to coordinate a time and place as to where to meet up...I hope he can get it together and tell me where to go to find him.
M FREAKY
Super Moderator
That is very nice of you J2d, especially all of you guys,,,
thick
Moderator
wow. that is awesome J2D. take care
Phreezer
Trusted Member
I'm sure I'll sound like a dick here (big suprise coming from me)... but FE isn't going to stop or change until he's ready... You can try to make him do what's right, you can try and coddle him along and hope he does what's right... but truth is.. He isn't going to stop.. He'll only hide what he's doing better..
My old man was/is a pill poping drunk. The town drunk in fact. I come from a small midwest town (Less than 1,000 people) and everyone in town knew my pops was the town drunk. In just the last ten years he's had 5 DUI's. He's been arrested 3 times for domestic battery and assault, agg assault, criminal threat and violation of restraining anti-stocking laws. (Three different women three different restraining orders). He doesn't work. Mooches off my 80 year old grandmother... I watched this guy give up a wife and three children (myself included) for booze and whatever pills he could swindle a doctor out of. He's lost about 50 jobs from drinking too much. He's been to rehab 5 times. Been to jail about 30 times.. and he doesn't give a fuck. He'd rather sleep in a tool shed and have his pills and booze than live in a house and be sobber.
This man picked booze and pills over his own kids.
We haven't spoken in years but last time we did talk (Keep in mind I'm about 30 yrs old) I asked why he does this stuff. ANd he looked me square in the face and said it was all our fault. That we were the ones with the problem and not him. He was just having a good time... and that if we hadn't rode him things would have been fine. He blames my mom for all the black eyes he gave her.. He blames all his girl friends for all of thiers.. At this point I just walked and away and never went back... And this happened when I was in my middle twenties... this was after a lifetime of growing up broke ass pour and having my ass kicked over and over as a kid for sometimes something as simple as the tv being too loud.. I could write a novel on what my life was like.. but nobody would really be that interested.. lol
anyway, My point is this... FE1 can't be talked into anything.. can't be shown what's right.. He's going to do what FE1 wants to do.. and come hell or high water no one will change that. I know, I speak from experience. I speak from being on the other side of an addicts drug and alcohal abuse.
This is something I bet a lot of you didn't know about your ol pal phreezer..
My old man was/is a pill poping drunk. The town drunk in fact. I come from a small midwest town (Less than 1,000 people) and everyone in town knew my pops was the town drunk. In just the last ten years he's had 5 DUI's. He's been arrested 3 times for domestic battery and assault, agg assault, criminal threat and violation of restraining anti-stocking laws. (Three different women three different restraining orders). He doesn't work. Mooches off my 80 year old grandmother... I watched this guy give up a wife and three children (myself included) for booze and whatever pills he could swindle a doctor out of. He's lost about 50 jobs from drinking too much. He's been to rehab 5 times. Been to jail about 30 times.. and he doesn't give a fuck. He'd rather sleep in a tool shed and have his pills and booze than live in a house and be sobber.
This man picked booze and pills over his own kids.
We haven't spoken in years but last time we did talk (Keep in mind I'm about 30 yrs old) I asked why he does this stuff. ANd he looked me square in the face and said it was all our fault. That we were the ones with the problem and not him. He was just having a good time... and that if we hadn't rode him things would have been fine. He blames my mom for all the black eyes he gave her.. He blames all his girl friends for all of thiers.. At this point I just walked and away and never went back... And this happened when I was in my middle twenties... this was after a lifetime of growing up broke ass pour and having my ass kicked over and over as a kid for sometimes something as simple as the tv being too loud.. I could write a novel on what my life was like.. but nobody would really be that interested.. lol
anyway, My point is this... FE1 can't be talked into anything.. can't be shown what's right.. He's going to do what FE1 wants to do.. and come hell or high water no one will change that. I know, I speak from experience. I speak from being on the other side of an addicts drug and alcohal abuse.
This is something I bet a lot of you didn't know about your ol pal phreezer..
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thick
Moderator
didnt know that phreezer. Sorry to hear that man. My dad is an alcoholic as well. He was really bad for about 10 years but the last 2-3 years he got off the bottle and only drinks beer. That is a lot of stress to watch your dad kill himself on that shit. I know it was tearing us up. He wasnt ever physically abusive to us and provided very well for my siblings and I.
With what you went through, it has to make it even sweeter being successful and all. Take care
With what you went through, it has to make it even sweeter being successful and all. Take care
THL
Trusted Member
Speaking from experience, Phreezer is 100% correct. FE1 will not come out of this until he is ready to get help, and he obviously isn't ready right now. I just hope he lives long enough to get to that point.
And you're right Phreezer, I would have never expected you had that type of childhood. You are one of the rare ones that made something out of your life. Far too many people would rather just take the easy way out and blame their parents/society for being bums. You are a good man.
Vicious Cycle
Trusted Member
Phreeze,
Your Dad and my step Dad should go bowling together.
Your Dad and my step Dad should go bowling together.
s7v7n
Trusted Member
A dad? What is that....never heard of that statue before....
Phreezer
Trusted Member
Thanks THL!!!!
Thick, it does suck. It's hard to watch. Personaly, I just reached a point where I said no more. Enough is enough. And it's hard sometimes. He used to come to me and ask me for money to pay his water bill. Ask if I could give him some money to buy some groceries. Help him out so his utilities didn't get shut off etc... And it's a hard lesson to learn when you give him money and find out the lights go out anyway.. the water still gets shut off.. and groceries never get bought... (some people prefer to drink their dinner)... I just said no more. And now when I have occasion to run into him. I just nod and keep on walking.
I tend to keep a close eye on booze and other stuff like pain pills.. The guys who know me from the old days at meso know that I don't have much tolerance for Rec drug postings etc.. and this is probably why
VC, they would probably be great bowling buddies...
Thick, it does suck. It's hard to watch. Personaly, I just reached a point where I said no more. Enough is enough. And it's hard sometimes. He used to come to me and ask me for money to pay his water bill. Ask if I could give him some money to buy some groceries. Help him out so his utilities didn't get shut off etc... And it's a hard lesson to learn when you give him money and find out the lights go out anyway.. the water still gets shut off.. and groceries never get bought... (some people prefer to drink their dinner)... I just said no more. And now when I have occasion to run into him. I just nod and keep on walking.
I tend to keep a close eye on booze and other stuff like pain pills.. The guys who know me from the old days at meso know that I don't have much tolerance for Rec drug postings etc.. and this is probably why
VC, they would probably be great bowling buddies...
Corrodo
Trusted Member
We have a VERY SIMILAR background bro. I too am from a midwest town of 1200 people and dealt with the EXACT SAME UPBRINGING (except from a stepfather due to my own father being a heroin/coke/alcoholic abuser)... I spent a lot of time from 6-12yo in fear and learned at a young age that you cant control others and I would be lying if I said it hasnt effected me later in life (27 yo now)...I had and do still a little bit of resentment and hate towards certainly family members and I just have to let go of it and move on or it will eat you alive. I just take it as a lesson on HOW NOT TO BE A FATHER and learn from it than repeat history.
The moral of this story is at 10 years old I took my Dad's drugs to my mom when he took us home one sunday (which he rarely took us on his weekends without dropping us off at my grandparents to go party)... I showed my mom the drugs and she called him and told him that he will never see his kids again and she is calling the cops on him if he didnt go to treatment the next day. 17 years later he is clean and drug free. At least he stepped up to the plate and got clean when his kids and freedom were at stake but he was still not there when I needed a father and that I still hold some resentment for.... BOTTOM LINE we all have a story and demons to fight but unless you want to fight the fight then you will give in to the demons.. When your sick and tired of being sick and tired then maybe you will get help....
well maybe I dont have an addictive personality, I dont know but I can see through this smoke cloud pitty fucking party(this is cause he would not have told us if he didnt want sympathy for problems). He obviously knows he has a problem and thats the first step to getting help. And Ive never met FE1 but I sure as hell like the guy(when he sober) and wouldnt like to see this guy die or go to prison.
However I have learned from my expierence and will not give him money. I will help settle his debts and get him in to detox than rehab.
Im sorry for your guys dads, I guess I was lucky enough to have a functioning alcoholic as a dad until he was taken from me by cancer
However I have learned from my expierence and will not give him money. I will help settle his debts and get him in to detox than rehab.
Im sorry for your guys dads, I guess I was lucky enough to have a functioning alcoholic as a dad until he was taken from me by cancer
s7v7n
Trusted Member
We have got to be brothers....I swear. Wanna talk about weird - same thing to me....however, I don't know where my father is now or if still clean?
Phreezer
Trusted Member
Well, does this mean we're all going to get together and sit around a camp fire and sing koom by ya?.... lol
A lot of us have had some rough upbringings. And yeah, sometimes it still gets us down. But we have to remember. The past is the past, and nothing can be done to change that now. We can only look to right now and the immediate future.
I made the decision a long time ago to not continue the cycle and do something with my life. I went to school.. I got a job, and now I get up and go every day. I don't sit around and drink myself to sleep every night. (I rarely drink, in fact I bet I've drank less than a six pack and maybe two bottles of wine in the last six months).
A lot of us have had some rough upbringings. And yeah, sometimes it still gets us down. But we have to remember. The past is the past, and nothing can be done to change that now. We can only look to right now and the immediate future.
I made the decision a long time ago to not continue the cycle and do something with my life. I went to school.. I got a job, and now I get up and go every day. I don't sit around and drink myself to sleep every night. (I rarely drink, in fact I bet I've drank less than a six pack and maybe two bottles of wine in the last six months).
Their are to many bi-curious guys on this board(FTW) to go camping with
ALL im saying if he wants mine or anybodys elses help Id be there for him, If not I hope he doesnt OD or end up in the slammer
s7v7n
Trusted Member
Truth hurts BUT:
OD'ing would be better than the slammer. You OD, you are done...your "friends" won't help you and you won't have too much pain. You go to jail, you will get out and do it all over again (or even while in jail)...that is a slow death right there - just destroying your body.
Vicious Cycle
Trusted Member
Now that's funny right there! I don't care who you are!
F
fighteveryone
Guest
i'm arranging something with J2DM for sunday i hope. we're just settling a place right now. we're gonna grab lunch and bullshit. make it a frikken party we should (sans the drugs).
and for the record you guys were the FIRST people i opened up to and told that i relapsed. i knew that because out of everyone in my life you'd be the only dudes who wouldnt tell me i'm a complete waste of life and fucked up everything like my closest friends and family. you guys have a sense of brotherhood understanding that goes beyond my own brothers who have disowned me. shit that means a lot.
and Phreezer is dead on.
PE is right, i came here to vent and let go. i wanted to hear support rather than constant berrating like im getting from my peers and fam now. and all ive gotten thus far is support from you hammerheads. that's frikken awesome. my PM box is overflowing daily. guys living cross country telling me they'll meet me or pick me up. holy shit.
and for the record you guys were the FIRST people i opened up to and told that i relapsed. i knew that because out of everyone in my life you'd be the only dudes who wouldnt tell me i'm a complete waste of life and fucked up everything like my closest friends and family. you guys have a sense of brotherhood understanding that goes beyond my own brothers who have disowned me. shit that means a lot.
and Phreezer is dead on.
PE is right, i came here to vent and let go. i wanted to hear support rather than constant berrating like im getting from my peers and fam now. and all ive gotten thus far is support from you hammerheads. that's frikken awesome. my PM box is overflowing daily. guys living cross country telling me they'll meet me or pick me up. holy shit.
thick
Moderator
my dad has always had a good job and made good money. After the kids were gone is when he went to the bottle. Finally we told him we were going to commit him if it didnt stop. My parents about got divorced. He literally drank around a bottle of scotch every night for years.
It was painful and i dont know how he got up for work every day lol. Now he just drinks a 12 pack and gets buzzed. Cant even tell he has been drinking lol. Still gets pretty drunk on weekends golfing though lmao but man i dont care if he drinks beer every day as long as he stays away from that fucking booze.
I am right with ya on the recs. I am glad u havent allowed that shit on the boards we belong to
It was painful and i dont know how he got up for work every day lol. Now he just drinks a 12 pack and gets buzzed. Cant even tell he has been drinking lol. Still gets pretty drunk on weekends golfing though lmao but man i dont care if he drinks beer every day as long as he stays away from that fucking booze.
I am right with ya on the recs. I am glad u havent allowed that shit on the boards we belong to
thick
Moderator
good point C. That is why i rarely ever have alcohol in my house and very rarely drink. B/c i dont want my son growing up thinking it is normal or cool to drink all the time.