what to do?

[fighteveryone]

what to do?

first and foremost... IM AN EMOTIONAL BITCH RIGHT NOW. there now that we got that outta the way.

ok so the girl i'd been dating for 4 years kinda broke up with me on the basis that i'm not showing her affection/love/care/etc. we broke up about a month ago. she said that she wants the "old" me back. she wants me to be who i am... which is who i used to be. she actually said "since you first used steroids, you've changed for the worse." but according to her the last time i cycled was 2 years ago. its something i dont want her to know nowadays no matter what. ive taken steps toward not using the more harsh androgens. looking back it really did effect my mood. right now all im taking is a low dose of test, GH, and IGF/MGF intermittently. i plan on sticking with the above things exclusively. if anything i may add in anavar.

looking back she has a point, although ive been blind to it. 3-4 years ago i was a lot more outgoing, friendly, impulsive, funny, affectionate, etc etc all good qualities. somewhere along the line this died. i guess i became too comfortable. i'm like an angry, boring, bitter old man now. i see it with my friends and how they all kinda abandoned me over the years too.

now her and i are still friends. we still talk everyday and hangout when we can. the realtionship isnt OVER... we made a point of that. ive been making a point of trying to find that old self... with much progress. its great getting out and in contact with friends i have neglected over the years. see... i want to be that old self i truly do.

however last week we hit a brick wall. the whole baby bird thing when they died and honestly i blamed her for it. i expressed my opinon on the subject and we got into a heated argument (probably our first heated argumanet ever). we havent spoken since thursday. she told me flat out that she's done with my putting her down... which i dont understand. i never put her down like i did on friday. she left a livejournal message saying that she's so glad to have firends like (named a bunch of names) who make her feel good about herself and without them she'd have no self esteem. this was obviously directed at me with spite. i responded "sorry i wasted 4 years of your life abusing you...". then she wrote that she never fucking said that and that i should grow balls and talk to her.

i want to talk to her but im afraid. i dont know what to say. honestly i love this girl like no other. i want to be with her again 100%... i just dont know what to do right now.

 

[Preacher]

like VC said its time to give her attention...... start by writing her a love note, My wife loved it... I had very simular convertation..... I know its hard as men tento relax and think the world is great but little do we relize the other half is bottling up alot of shit.... women are hard and relationships take alot of work on both parts........

 

[shaqdeezl]

She's dying for you to come rescue her from her own emotional wreck. She wants to hear you say "i want to talk to her but im afraid. i dont know what to say. honestly i love this girl like no other. i want to be with her again 100%... i just dont know what to do right now."

She wants to know you're scared of losing her...that you love her like no other...you want her 100%. Tell her face-to-face. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

 

[juiced2damax]

One thing I havve learned is to never let my emotions take over my actions. What I mean by that is to THINK before SPEAKING. Do not speak out of anger, I know its sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo but based on your comeback to her about the whole wasted 4 yrs comment, you spoke out of anger instead of taking a deep breath, thinking, and saying something along the lines of what VC said to say. Maybe that is what has turned you "bitter". When I learned how to control that side of me, WOW, It felt great to not say things that I will regret and rationally get my point across and it also calms the other person down as well. I could be off the mark but that's my advice as to the side of you she may want to see, the more sensitive and caring side.

At least the lines of communication are still open, capitalize on that and start all over again, roses, cards, candy, letters, little gifts, and be spuratic. You'll be numero uno again,, it's just going to take a little persuasion on your end.

 

[juiced2damax]

whoopss...dbl post

 

[Package]

Fight all i can say is, women do appreciate the little things, any of us can forget when we get comfortable , if this is the one, then call her and find a common place to talk and bring her something, tell her how you feel and apoplogize, yes apologize, and if she cares the same way for you she will do the same or at least accept yours, tell her you care about her feelings , thats the most important part of a relationship and likewise , she should care about yours.....that will go along way

 

[Baldspot]

Tell her you have done some soul searching (and it sounds like you have) since you last spoke to her. Tell her she is right about your attitude and demeanor, but it isn't the steroids. It is simple complacency.

Taking your partner for granted in a secure relationship is more common than you think. All it takes is time. Instead of wooing, pampering and coddling the object of your affection (her), you now think of her as a "have" instead of a "want". You expect her to be by your side now while you have put more effort into other things in your life (work, training, whatever). Tell her you have recognized this and want to change it, but you will need her help and understanding to do it.

Tell her you would like to make her more central in your life, and by enjoying more things together your feel your demeanor should improve. Achieving many things in life has its rewards(again-work, training etc.), but none as great as having her love in your life.

All of us say things we wish we hadn't at times, its part of being human. Just relay your feelings and don't stand there and make her decide. Tell her to let you know when she comes to a decision. This will take some pressure off her at the moment if she feels angry for whatever reason.

Good luck brosef
Hope it works out for ya.
(used your variation-Quasi is here now )

 

[d-red]

i really don`t have an answer. but i really am right here with you. me and my girl will be going good for a while and then this big heated fight. i`ll say something dumb,that i shouldn`t of. or i have a tendency to say some smug comments once in a while. I REALLY HOPR YOU WORK IT OUT.

 

[spanky]

I think i've changed in similar ways over the years and sometimes wonder if it was the gear. My wife knows nothing of my use but has made comments about how I used to be so easy-going and fun-loving. I think she may be right, I used to eat-shit a lot just because I didn't want to waste time arguing or simply didn't care. As the years pass, i'm less likely to let shit slide. I'm far more likely to call someone out in public and confront situations differently all together. Now this doesn't mean i'm start shit all the time, i'd say i'm more likely to stand up for what's right. Anyway, not sure if that's what you're seeing FE, but it's something I ponder every now and then. Not sure if it's gear related or not.

If your (ex) girl were to read what you posted here, she'd probably be in aw. She may think that side of you no longer exists. I agree, letters are great (I hate calling them love letters) way to get things out. In my case I can't get my thoughts across because we get off subject and into a fight even when i'm trying to fix things. I wait until she's out or sleeping and start writing. I can easily do a few pages and it seems to work. It sounds like she's leaving the door open for you and the good thing is that there doesn't seem to be anyone else. Any more it seems the girl will be unhappy and just hang around until she sees an opportunity like a coworker, an ex, etc and then you're fucked.

 

[shaqdeezl]

I think i've changed in similar ways over the years and sometimes wonder if it was the gear. My wife knows nothing of my use but has made comments about how I used to be so easy-going and fun-loving. I think she may be right, I used to eat-shit a lot just because I didn't want to waste time arguing or simply didn't care. As the years pass, i'm less likely to let shit slide. I'm far more likely to call someone out in public and confront situations differently all together. Now this doesn't mean i'm start shit all the time, i'd say i'm more likely to stand up for what's right. Anyway, not sure if that's what you're seeing FE, but it's something I ponder every now and then. Not sure if it's gear related or not.

If your (ex) girl were to read what you posted here, she'd probably be in aw. She may think that side of you no longer exists. I agree, letters are great (I hate calling them love letters) way to get things out. In my case I can't get my thoughts across because we get off subject and into a fight even when i'm trying to fix things. I wait until she's out or sleeping and start writing. I can easily do a few pages and it seems to work. It sounds like she's leaving the door open for you and the good thing is that there doesn't seem to be anyone else. Any more it seems the girl will be unhappy and just hang around until she sees an opportunity like a coworker, an ex, etc and then you're fucked.

I don't think it's gear related at all. I think it's related to maturing - or growing older. Young folks are easier to fuck with. Older, wiser adults are not going to be fucked over. That's just the way it is.

 

[fighteveryone]

thanks all for the input/help. i'm going to get my ass back in check and talk to her.

 

[spanky]

That's kinda what I figure. I'm just very concious of my use and my attitude. Last thing I want to be is labeled an asshole because i'm a big bastard now.

 

[fighteveryone]

looking back i think a large part of my change of attitude/demeanor was related to me dropping on of my meds. i was prescribed Wellbutrin and Effexor for depression and anxiety disorder (partly social anxiety disorder) many years ago. the Effexor had given me sexual side effects so i dropped it awhile back. i never felt like it made any difference anyways. well judging by when things started to go aloof... i can see that was around the time i dropped the Effexor.

 

[Toyoda]

Well Bro I have been going thru the same shit lately,,, what can i say it sucks
Gear related maybe a little bit, The tren I am on right now makes me a little snappy. Bro its the world we live in chicks think they have all these problems, the grass is greener, some dude that will treat me better on & on
I am sure she has a few friends "cheer-leading" her on they always do.

I look back on people like my mom & grandma & the shit they dealt with, these chicks now a days only worry about bullshit like american idol, the bachelor, what new cell phone they are going to get,,,, its all bullshit call her bluff dont talk to her dont put up with the drama keep lifting & drink'n your muscles milks,,,,,

oh & about the friends you lost like I said in my pm to you yesterday fuck em if they are anything like mine they are fat overweight slobs sitting in some smokey bar reliving their football days knocking me for lifting & wanting to meet a cool chick. People can Eat Shit

 

[fighteveryone]

spoke to her tonight. safe to say any fragment of our relationship is done with.

 

[juiced2damax]

spoke to her tonight. safe to say any fragment of our relationship is done with.

Shit bro, care to share some of the convo with us...sorry to hear but remember how emotions can take control of situations. Sleep on it and maybe yours or her outlook may change tomorrow when things cool down from whatever happened tonight.

 

[Grizzly]

spoke to her tonight. safe to say any fragment of our relationship is done with.

I don't know the whole story, but if she's going to get that bent out of shape about some stupid comment, then you don't need her over-emotional ass anyway.

As if she hasn't said some stupid, hurtful things in her day. Gimme a break!

 

[shaqdeezl]

spoke to her tonight. safe to say any fragment of our relationship is done with.

It's probably beating you up right now but this could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you! Keep your head up, bro.

 

[fighteveryone]

ok this is what happenned...

called her to tell her im sorry and that i was in the wrong on how i reacted. she said that she was very hurt. especially coming from someone who knows her best like myself... to tell her basically that she doesnt care/is incapable of caring about things (like the birds) really hurt her. this stemmed back from comments ive made in the past regarding other things too. i had made her feel like an uncaring, worthless person. and this isnt the first time... and she doesnt trust me enough anymore for it to be the last time. she said she doesnt consider a person who makes her feel this way to be a friend she wants to be around.

i told her exaclty how i felt. how i wanted to have things to be how they were 3-4 years ago when we first dated and were happy and content and confident. she told me flat out that there is no chance of that ever happenning. basically she just does not believe that i won't put her down like i did again if something comes up. i told her i'd learn from this mistake. she told me to remember that with my next girlfriend. ouch.

it just sucks a lot. 4 years down the drain. you guys can tell me a million times that i'm young and whatnot. but the time and effort i put into this relationship was more than i could ever imagine putting into anything else, past-present-future. from things ive posted here in the past its obvious i think the world of this girl.

i've had nothing but a string of dissapointments with relationships in the past. this is the first relationship ive ever had where i was the one at fault.

 

[shaqdeezl]

You're going to have to take this one on the chin but she was looking for a reason to leave.