Anal

[shaqdeezl]

Anal

I have created a monster. It's taken over 3 years but it has worked beautifully. The monster really came alive Saturday night. Even I, Dr. Buttkinstein, was amazed at the magical powers of my new booty beast.

Like has been said: there are two types of women - those that love anal and those that have never tried it. I am married to one who absolutely loves it. Proud of myself is an understatement.

Sweets, as inappropriate as it is, I'm still crazy after your butt.

 

[Massive690]

I have created a monster. It's taken over 3 years but it has worked beautifully. The monster really came alive Saturday night. Even I, Dr. Buttkinstein, was amazed at the magical powers of my new booty beast.

Like has been said: there are two types of women - those that love anal and those that have never tried it. I am married to one who absolutely loves it. Proud of myself is an understatement.

Sweets, as inappropriate as it is, I'm still crazy after your butt.

im jealous. i got to try it once and i dont think ill ever be able to again. i got too excited and dont think i warmed her up properly, so i got about 3 pumps in and she got mad and made me stop because it hurt so bad. i thought girls loved it? porn lied to me

 

[shaqdeezl]

im jealous. i got to try it once and i dont think ill ever be able to again. i got too excited and dont think i warmed her up properly, so i got about 3 pumps in and she got mad and made me stop because it hurt so bad. i thought girls loved it? porn lied to me

They do love it. Try ramming your fist in your ass and see how much you like it. You've got to go very, very slow homey...and lots of lube. She'll love it.

 

[swede74]

You are my hero, shaq. My g/f just isn't having it..tried but was denied big time! She told me, "Hey, you're putting it in the wrong hole!" Uhh, no I 'm not, I have pin point aim, if it's poking at the pooper, it's supposed to be! Even drunk, no go

If you can tell me how to get her to do it, I will personally fly to you and shave and put the fake tan shit on you before you compete!

 

[billet5]

Ive accomplished it one time with my wife. The last time she said, lets get some anal beads and you stick them up your ass, then we can have anal sex. Well, I won't say exactly what happened but lets just say that she was supposed to let me stick it in her butt and ended up not holding up her side of the bargain.

 

[Massive690]

hahahahaha the last 2 posts crack me up. you guys are somethin else

 

[Glade]

Allright swede, pay attention here.
Now this has worked with every gf before my wife. The wifey dont count cuz she's just a born freak and would take god knows what up there if she thought that's what I wanted but anyways,,,

1st you have to prime that ass for awile. I mean you have to put some work in. Esp with the ones that are just appalled at the thought of you grinding your hog up there.
Start with eating that box like a recently released convict then do the exact same thing on her ass. Make the transition subtle so as not to freak her out. She'll be a little freaked but just keep workin that winker. Now right about the time the 1st moan comes around get a digit up there. Dont be trying to go all Rocco porn style on her ass with 4 fingers either. Just a little bit at a time my friend.
From here she should be good to go. Get it in her head that your dick belongs in her ass. I've never had one back out at this point.
Good luck.

 

[d-red]

you guys are CRAZY!!!

 

[shaqdeezl]

Glade is my hero!!

One other thing - do not, DO NOT, talk about anal when not in the heat of passion. It will embarrass the shit out of her.

Hell, there's nothing left to say. Glade is the man.

 

[Sweettart29]

First let me say that the BEST lube to use by far and the cheapest is baby oil....get the biggest bottle of that shit you can find and you will get all the anal you want Hell if you have to fill the bath tub up with it and have at it lol.....And you have to take it slow...Once she is accustom or should I say a little more relaxed believe me her eyes are gonna roll...OH and one more thing let her be on top that way she can control how much how far and how fast....works alot better that way

And I can say I have had the best orgasm i have ever had during anal....

 

[shaqdeezl]

OMG. I'm so in love with you.

First let me say that the BEST lube to use by far and the cheapest is baby oil....get the biggest bottle of that shit you can find and you will get all the anal you want Hell if you have to fill the bath tub up with it and have at it lol.....And you have to take it slow...Once she is accustom or should I say a little more relaxed believe me her eyes are gonna roll...OH and one more thing let her be on top that way she can control how much how far and how fast....works alot better that way

And I can say I have had the best orgasm i have ever had during anal....

 

[Massive690]

First let me say that the BEST lube to use by far and the cheapest is baby oil....get the biggest bottle of that shit you can find and you will get all the anal you want Hell if you have to fill the bath tub up with it and have at it lol.....And you have to take it slow...Once she is accustom or should I say a little more relaxed believe me her eyes are gonna roll...OH and one more thing let her be on top that way she can control how much how far and how fast....works alot better that way

And I can say I have had the best orgasm i have ever had during anal....

sweets would you mind calling my girl and telling her that anal is amazing. she does not trust me

 

[Preacher]

I have done it a few times but the old lady doesn't like the "after" effects. She doesn't like how her bum feels with the lube and cum in there...... But she does't like it......

 

[giantkilr]

Ive accomplished it one time with my wife. The last time she said, lets get some anal beads and you stick them up your ass, then we can have anal sex. Well, I won't say exactly what happened but lets just say that she was supposed to let me stick it in her butt and ended up not holding up her side of the bargain.

thats just plain wrong!!!

 

[thick]

lmfao!!! oh man u queer got owned hahaha


My ex never would let me. I got ruined b/c of her friggin dad i guess. Her dad must not have followed proper procedures and hurt her mom doing anal. So she never would let me b/c her mom told her it hurt so bad

Ive accomplished it one time with my wife. The last time she said, lets get some anal beads and you stick them up your ass, then we can have anal sex. Well, I won't say exactly what happened but lets just say that she was supposed to let me stick it in her butt and ended up not holding up her side of the bargain.

 

[thick]

with that said i still prefer the box over the butt.

 

[billet5]

lmfao!!! oh man u queer got owned hahaha


My ex never would let me. I got ruined b/c of her friggin dad i guess. Her dad must not have followed proper procedures and hurt her mom doing anal. So she never would let me b/c her mom told her it hurt so bad

Hey, I never specifically said that I did it.

 

[thick]

you didnt have to. Your typed words spoke rather loudly lmfao!!!

Hey, I never specifically said that I did it.

 

[swede74]

you didnt have to. Your typed words spoke rather loudly lmfao!!!

LOL, dude's busted! Only time somethings going up there will be in about 12-13 years when I have my 1st colonoscopy

Glade, I will follow your advice and give it a try. Thank you butt guru!

 

[billet5]

LOL, dude's busted! Only time somethings going up there will be in about 12-13 years when I have my 1st colonoscopy

Glade, I will follow your advice and give it a try. Thank you butt guru!

Im 35 and I had a colonoscopy when I was 31. Not pleasant at all.